Thanks to Sister Toldja for setting off Happy Black Girl Day, which is every second Wednesday of the month. While it’s my goal to be all happy, all Black, and all girl…all the time, the second Wednesdays will be extra from here on out.

For those of us who are parents, particularly parents of girls, it is our J-O-B to make sure that our girls are happy. Each day as I travel through Brooklyn, whether heading to teach, grabbing some coffee from the bodega, or picking up TH from school, the streets are awash in unhappy Black girls from babies on up.

We have to break this cycle. Grown Black girls have to take maters into their own hands and step into their happiness, it’s the only way that young Black girls will begin to understand and recognize that they too, can be happy.

Let me tell you a little story:

Back in 2003, when I found out I was pregnant with TH, a lightbulb went off in my head. Now, I wasn’t always the happy Black girl that the 5 of you who read this know and love. Nope. I was a miserable mess. I disguised a lot of well, but those who were allowed to get close enough got to see the misery close up. I won’t go into all the details, because I am saving it for the next Tyler Perry script memoirs, but it was ugly.

But I digress…I knew that pregnancy and motherhood were about to change my life in much the same way as becoming a wife had, but this was different. Someone was going to be totally dependent upon me which is not much different from being a wife and I had to take a stand. Once the “+” sign showed up on the stick and I confirmed it with my doctor, my mind began to change. I remember telling myself that this child will never see their mommy unhappy because I have to model for them what it means to be a Black woman pursuing and enjoying life to the fullest. Once I found out that the child pop-locking in my uterus was going to be a girl, my mind kicked that up a couple of notches.

As TH came into the world and has progressed to the amazing almost-6 year old that she is, I have realized that my motherhood stylings , as well as dad’s ways of fatherhood, is helping to create the happiest Black girl on the planet. I don’t say this because she’s my kid, although I do have the inside track, but it is based on how she is in the world, with strangers and friends alike. Seriously, random strangers have approached me about how happy/polite/sweet/fabulous she is.

So this, my first Happy Black Girl Day post, is dedicated to the fabulous TH, my inspiration and whose motto is: I’ve got my afro and my shoes, let’s go!

Happy Black Girl Day!

This weekend I participated in a panel about girls, images and media. You can read more about my experience over here.

What has really stayed with me from the discussion are  these two questions/missives from our moderator, Shayna D: What responsibilities do bloggers have regarding the tone of their content and What are the solutions to the negative images of women of color we see portrayed?

The responses from the panelists ran from “if it’s my personal blog, I am going to write what I want” to Cocoa from Cool Cruel World saying that she does her best to only promote positive images of black women, particularly because of the deluge of negativity from many of the gossip blogs out there.

I found all the responses interesting. As ya’ll know, I explore the life of black women in general, and while I create positive images, some of the things I uncover may explore might illuminate some negative aspects, I am fine with that because there is a balance and I don’t promote nor engage in gratuitous negativity.

Which brings me to thinking about how most (not all) black-oriented gossip blogs create this culture of negativity. Without pointing fingers or naming names, quite a few are hate-filled rants whose writers seem to get joy from a mishap or bad luck in someone else’s life. I’m not talkig about the sites who poke fun at celebrity, because I happen to find the cult of celebrity quite funny. I’m talking about the ones who are downright mean and whose comments are usually filled with hatred — you all know who I am talking about.

Besides bringing in revenue for the blog, what does all of this constant negativity do for the psyches of the folks who can’t wait to be first to post on the next blog update? Yes, they may be adults free to read and do what they want, but we also know that the lack of critical thought in our communities runs deep — often generations deep.

Back to the panel.

Toward the end, Shayna, our moderator, asked us for solutions with regards to helping change the images of black women in the media. The answers included creating and managing our images to reaching out to young women in their early years and helping to develop their critical thinking skills before they are inundated with media programming.

I believe it’s going to take a cooncerted, multi-pronged effort from women in many segments of our society before we see a change in our images.

I’d love to hear your solutions. What, if anything, can be done to change the images of black women in the media?

When it was initially conceived, the Black Girl Project was to be a simple film illustrating the depth and breadth of life as a young black women directly from their mouths. While still that, it is growing to be so much more.

Because of the young women I have had the opportunity to speak with and a subsequent self-exploration, the BGP is morphing into its own organization.

I am still working out the details and the non-profit status, but here’s what I have so far:

The BGP a non-profit that fosters leadership, responsibility and critical community engagement amongst “at risk” young women and girls through the use of of several modalities which include, but are not limited to the creative arts, literature, and an investigation of vital issues within their communities. Serving young women and girls between the ages of 9 and 20, a goal of BGP is to have participants represent the diversity of the Diaspora in the Americas.

After committing to a year-long program that utilizes the cultural arts, leadership, literacy, peer mentorship and an academic enhancement program, participants will organize and moderate a youth summit which focuses on the issues important to them and their constituents.

Modeled to nurture leadership skills in young women and girls, The Black Girl Project’s purpose is to fortify how young women and girls view themselves, and each other, collectively and as individuals.

So that’s it! The new website is under construction, but you can still continue to go to The Black Girl Project to get updates on the film and our progess.